What Do Men Really Want During Sex?

Men are often described as simple when it comes to sex—interested only in the physical act itself. In reality, that idea couldn’t be further from the truth. Men are far more emotionally and psychologically engaged than stereotypes suggest. If you’re wondering how to truly please a man, there are several ways to make your shared experiences memorable and deeply satisfying.

Appreciation Goes a Long Way

Compliments matter—both during intimacy and outside the bedroom. For many men, sex feels like a performance, and much of their self-worth is tied to how well they please their partner. Let him know how good he makes you feel. If saying it during sex feels awkward, start elsewhere. Casually remind him of something he did that drove you wild or mention something you’re excited to experience again. That reassurance often comes back to you tenfold.

Intimacy Matters More Than You Think

Despite appearances, men crave intimacy just as much as women do. Post-sex behaviors—rolling over, showering, or withdrawing—are often the result of social conditioning rather than lack of desire for closeness. Many men have been taught to associate emotional vulnerability with weakness.

Gently guide him. Instead of criticizing, express how much you enjoy being close and suggest cuddling to extend the moment. When framed with warmth and appreciation, intimacy becomes something he can relax into rather than resist.

Don’t Skip the Build-Up

While spontaneous, direct sex can be exciting, there are times when anticipation makes everything better. Foreplay isn’t just for women. Take initiative and explore what excites him beyond the obvious. Pay attention to his reactions—his neck, back, inner thighs, or the way he responds to certain touches. You don’t have to ask outright; observation often reveals everything.

Be Open to His Fantasies

Fetishes and fantasies are a normal part of sexuality. Most people suppress certain desires to appear “normal.” Pay attention to what excites him—whether it’s something he mentions, hints at, or watches privately. Exploring these desires together, even cautiously, can deepen trust and keep the spark alive. You may even surprise yourself by enjoying it.

Express Your Pleasure

Let him hear and see that you’re enjoying yourself. Vocal reactions, expressive body language, eye contact, and physical closeness reassure him that he’s doing something right. This feedback boosts confidence and encourages him to explore and please you even more.

Maintain a Touch of Mystery

Desire thrives on a balance of intimacy and distance. After periods of closeness, allow a little space. Be playful, slightly elusive—enough to keep him thinking about you and eager for more. Just don’t disappear entirely; too much distance can dull the connection rather than strengthen it.

Start Small and Let It Grow

This may feel like a lot to take in, but you don’t need to do everything at once. Start with one or two changes and let the rest develop naturally. Over time, these behaviors will feel effortless—and the results will speak for themselves.